Category Archives: Hollywood NOT!

For Nude Photo, Lady Gaga’s Nose Censored for Sexiness

lady-gaga-nude

Sure, Lady Gaga has a decent body, but nobody really finds her sexy, right? Egotastic.com writer was hesitant to even publish the famous The Fame singers’ breast-shot photo. That is just how much of a turn-off she can be.

In earnest, it mustn’t be the starlet’s strange alien costumes that truly wig us out, but her natural face. V Magazine (for whom Gaga posed topless) staff made up her pout and lids to look a lot more like fellow musician Christina Aguilera – notice no freaky geisha lips, for one. Instead the keeping-it-Gaga piéce they donned her head and face with was this space-style hat of rings. But the most important feature this headpiece boasts is it covers her unfortunate nose.

And voila!(?) Sexy. ? Or the path to sexy has been cleared.

Still, the only thing actually hot about this is somehow that it’s a celebrity’s bare breast. To be turned on, I’m sure one must remind the pleasure centers of the brain this like a mantra. Somehow even her full breast just comes off flat, in a manner of speech.

lady-gaga-quoteOf course the Lady does think she’s all that and sliced bread. Perhaps her ego not being fed makes her reach for more attention. “Everybody knows” a new celebrity should not yet go naked, unless that’s the path to stardom itself. Gaga is clearly impatient and impulsive due to her insecure/narcissistic illness. In a video raving about the quality of V Magazine, she boasts her love for fashion, once again, as she does as often as for music. But is nudity fashion, even if art? And a nude celeb can never be art, all socially aware, intelligent people know that. Or maybe it’s just those of  us on the outside, predatory world. However the girl who chose the name Lady Gaga while already putting together her debut album is still a newbie. The chart-topping singer is so musically hot right now, she doesn’t even actually need more attention, except the girl behind the show is probably lonely and lost.

She deludedly loves any sexual attention / compliments to her attraction. In a quote that comes off more Megan Fox and daft natural blond than deep lyricist / girl power writer, she also raved about her photographer,

“Sebastian’s incredible. He’s so amazingly talented, very kind… He likes it when my nipples fall out. It’s all of the things I look for in a good photographer.”

Sounds more like a Paris Hilton, doesn’t it? If this “Lady” doesn’t improve her self-esteem or fill her need for love soon (or perhaps it’s something else her insanity craves) could she too go sex tape? And what will happen if not enough people care?

Spencer Pratt, Born to Be Bad? … OR (What’s in a name?)

Would a rose by any other name smell so sweet? Can a word or name with an extra letter mean to deceive?

Being a woman of these modern times, even one who studied English, it took me a viewing of the “period” television show, Merlin, to introduce me to the antiquated term, “prat”. (Video clip below.) Flat-out, it just means “ass”. (OK, ok, buttocks.)

Immediately I thought of our dear enemy, Spencer. Even though a search led me to read his surname means “trick”, perhaps the worse half of Speidi put those two ideas together. The trick is the “acting” and minus the t from trick is all ass – or a-hole.

This does not mean we cannot blame Mr. Pratt. It just means we can amuse ourselves with some appropriate name calling.

*The Man* thought The World Needed a “Juno” for Adults?

And no, I don’t mean pervy adults.

This is not to bash the film in question, the newly-released Away We Go. I’m sure the story is original and visually it’s maybe no more copycat than any other major movie.

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But the advertising company saw “pregnant couple” and thought doodles(! omigod) were the way to go in its campaign. Yes, because 34-year-old home hunting expected parents so beg for scribbly cartoons. These may not be the two most grown adults, but to me the ads are just too reminiscent of that recent hit. I don’t think the pitch: “… more knocked-up hijinks!!”, which is the vibe I’m given, is appropriate for comedy after comedy, never mind responsible.

The worst part is that it demeens this probably quality flick. (I’d see it.) Even though the art department perhaps just aimed for *independent* whimsy, they crashed after taking it too far and running out of fuel. Still, ignore the graphics if they bother you, and not the film if the previews don’t.

I mean, I wouldn’t care, but I do want these actors to succeed.

P.S. I’m sorry? but eh… I don’t see Maya Rudolph with John Krasinski. (And she’s far less cute here than she was on SNL, as odd as that sounds remembering most SNL females.) Hmmm, also aiming for a *new* Pam? You’ll always fail — there is only one.